Bad stuff - feel down

I am absolutely mess. I feel super down and didn't know if i want to write down this post.
I hate my weekend job and those people. The re smiling to you but will talk trash behind your back. Anyway all English are like -sorry peps I have only bad experience with this nationality. I am being serious by saying I want to leave the UK.
I don't like the job and it friendly - fake atmosphere. I would rather jump off my window easily if not my daughter and hubby.

I even don't want to talk about it, but in the same time inside I am screaming.

I feel unable to do any job. I know I require to just get more experience and so on, but being as a a first line of contact for a customer service is just simply not for me. I am not good on the phone dealing with random enquirers.

I just want something what will engage my brain more but in the same time wont require me to work so much directly with customers. 

I am not joking u - I even cannot eat proper dinner, because I am so stressed.  

I feel very depressed and don't know what to do, because that's a permanent job within recognizable company deffo worth experience. 

But in the same time I feel so bad about it that I think its just not worth it. 

I know no one is going to advice me on that, but I am finding that more and more crazy. 

In my other job I had a trouble for a reason my email wasn't written as someone whose English is a first language. 

And who wont say that this is a racism???

I was on the interview and had a honest talk with both of the employers, they knew who they re employing and that I am not a native English. I cannot understand why they re putting me in this position where I feel embarrassed. I am thinking if they really though I can provide same customer service as british person? I can take care of so many different areas of business but not necessary customers. 

I am broken and when I think about tomorrow feel ill.

Maybe I will just go and vomit a bit. ###

have a great rest of the weekend peps - HONEST ME... :( 

concerns ...

Hi guys.

I am telling you people, when I am stressed, I am eating chocolate in insane amounts!

Time is flying... on Thursday is my first day at work. I am quite stressed about it , but when I think about the weekend I am proper terrified.

Sometimes I think I wont be able to work it, I am not good enough, English is not my first language, I wont understand something... I've tried to think, yeah right I am just making it up, but to be honest I think I am just aware of myself.

I decided to give myself a try and I will see how I am getting on with it. I believe if after 3 weeks I still wont enjoy it and will struggle or be extremely stressed there I wont continue. I think is not worth this money and busy weekends. Ehh... life is whole filled up with stress, isn't?

I think I need to push my business forward faster :D

Tonight I am chilling with my hubby, we will watch some movie in a minute and eat frozen yogurts!

Have a great evening peps! Xxx

last day...

Tomorrow I have my last exam in this year. That means I will hopefully finish my second year in less then 24h (considering I will pass everything). Honestly I cannot wait for it! It was such a busy year. Then just one more and I am ready to find some work...FULL TIME. This is what bothers me so much, I cant find any proper part time job during my studies! If I will decide to do my masters, that will definitely be part time to be able keep my full time job. The idea of graduation year ahead is very satisfying and makes me smile hihi.
Wish me luck and hopefully I can get back to you very soon, relax and with interesting subjects.

Medicine thoughts...

Hello!

I am almost done with my uni work. Should be done by Tuesday :) 

I am having new thoughts - 'new,old'. I always wanted to be a doctor. Until now from time to time I have those thoughts on the back of my mind that I missed something in my life. That was one of my biggest dreams... As I was always good at school in any subject if I wanted I payed attention for some time to the biology but not too long. Partying and friends were more important back then. Now I am almost graduate and mother, that's why I am so concerned about being in study Again for a period of 4-5 years. that means that I would graduate medicine in the age of 30! and there is 2 years foundation program and later on trainee! I am thinking to be selfish and go for it... if that selfish really? Or stick what I have find a job and do master in business. It is really hard decision for me...

What would you do? 

I feel it is more then about the money and posses. It is about health and help...
hope I am not the one?!

IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?


M.xx

Keep going!

I am moving forward with  my work soooo slowly... still have got plenty to do and deadlines are approaching. Portfolio is almoooost done... essay doesn't want to move even bit forward... AAAAA I will pull out the hair of my head!
Why I cannot work constantly all over the year on the regular basis? Just to leave everything on the last moment?

Is anyone with me in this shit ?

Uni sucks :D

Love M xx

Need a break!

Hey!

Do u know that feeling when you so tired of studying and actually nothing is moving forward? U just stuck in a half on those stupid 4000 words and have no idea what to write more. Thats where I am at the moment. Completely STUCK!!!  
Hope it will go away tonight or I wont be able to submit my assignments by next week... 

Here whats left till 29th of April:

Essay,
Group report 
Group report 2
Personal reflection
Whole year project

and in a mean time I have to produce agenda for a meeting and edit my notes. I will shut myself this time I think... 

Extension of deadline anyone??

ehhh getting back to work. hope at leas you will have a nice evening!!